


we celebrate the downfall of our enemies (and ever seek solace in each other)

by sprx77



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, American Politics, Anti-Donald Trump, Celebrations, F/M, Happy Sex, Kissing, M/M, Multi, Politics, Reaction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28644819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sprx77/pseuds/sprx77
Summary: When Naruto learned Twitter banned Trump and all his accounts, he did a hilarious spit-take and proceeded to organize a fucking party.Fortunately, his datemates didn't mind.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 3
Kudos: 52





	we celebrate the downfall of our enemies (and ever seek solace in each other)

**Author's Note:**

> previously titled "TWITTER BANNED TRUMP" because i was in all caps about it at the time
> 
> Y'ALL I'M SCREAMING
> 
> I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT SOME NEWS THAT I NEEDED CHARACTERS TO ACT IT OUT FOR ME JUST TO GET IT OUT OF MY SYSTEM
> 
> I'M YELLING SO FUCKING LOUD OH MY GOD????? IT'S TIME TO BE UGLY PETTY UP IN THIS BITCH AHHHHHHH

A loud scream tore through the apartment. Before Sasuke could look up from his phone, nor Sakura from her game, a door slammed against a wall with a giant BANG.

“TRUMP GOT PERMABANNED FROM TWITTER!”

Naruto’s excited face appeared in front of Sasuke, grin so wide it tore at the edges of his face. His eyes were bright, excited, blue and wide. He darted forward and kissed Sasuke full on the mouth, before he could even process what was happening, and then Naruto was pulling away with a squeal and a shift of footwork.

Then the words finally caught up.

“Wait, really?” He glanced at his phone but Naruto was miles ahead of him, shoving his own raggedy smartphone under Sasuke’s nose even as his thumb moved fast to show screenshots of google receipts.

“Look, look!” He eagerly held it in front of Sasuke’s eyes, which grew blurry as he tried to cross them and see the close screen. “AhhhhhhHH! I’m so excited.”

And indeed there were the receipts.

TRUMP PERMABANNED FROM TWITTER

TRUMP SMURF ACCOUNTS SHOT DOWN VIOLENTLY

TRUMP ATTEMPTS TO CIRCUMVENT BAN THWARTED

There were other political figures commenting on it, some celebrating with grace, others trying to make it an issue, but the articles were dated less than an hour ago and he wondered how Naruto knew all this already. Who looked at the news this late into the pandemic?

“What, are you literally plugged in?”

Naruto stuck his tongue out but it was quickly ruined by the way he couldn’t stop _beaming_.

“I was on twitter anyway for fandom stuff.” He spun around fast, noticing Sakura’s noise-cancelling headset and rapt attention to the TV, thumbs flying on her controller. “Sakura!!!” He wailed, trying to get past the high-dollar insulation. 

She glanced over for half a second, then went back to the game.

Naruto crawled on his knees across the couch and Sasuke kept one eye on that even as he thumbed open an impartial source to-- verify, yes, though it seemed clear-- and get a little background. Not too much, mind; he didn’t have the emotional strength to hear about any of the current bullshit. He mostly kept updated through fringe reporting and memes.

“SAKURA!” Naruto tapped on her shoulder urgently and her character died onscreen.

“WHAT?!” She called back, lifting her headset off. Naruto put away the radiant grin for long enough to kiss her soundly, an enthusiastic thing that lasted much longer than Sasuke’s now that he had gotten some of the need to _scream about it_ out of his system.

When he came up again she was a little breathless, and more entertained than angry.

“Trump got banned from twitter!” Naruto rushed out, delighted, and unable to contain himself. Sakura’s face morphed from confusion to the raw glee capable of rivaling Naruto’s own. Sasuke began to wonder if they had champagne in the kitchen and spared a single mourning thought for his previous plans of a quiet evening in. Well, it would still be an evening in, but there was almost certainly going to be a _party_.

“Eeee!” Sakura pulled her headset off her neck and kissed Naruto back, forceful and long, and only pulled back when her own helpless grin became too big. “Oh god I thought that farce was never going to end. He was embarrassing the entire country from the _start_. The first time he lied and spread that stupid bullshit, FOUR YEARS AGO, someone should have done _something_.”

“Shhh don’t ruin this for me!” Naruto whined, still smiling, and covered her mouth playfully. “It happened! It’s good news! Better late than _never_.”

Sasuke cleared his throat and they both looked over at him. 

He lifted his thumb from his screen and the chorus of _ding, dong, the witch is dead_ echoed into the living room, making both his datemates laugh uproariously.

“It’s time to be _ugly_ petty about this, babes!” Naruto pumped both fists into the air, made even more amusing by the bath robe he was wearing over his clothes like a cloak, which fanned out with his enthusiasm.

“I’ve been saving some of Ino’s dad’s cookies for a special occasion.” Sakura immediately volunteered and even Sasuke had to perk up at that. He moved over just enough to snag Naruto around the waist and pull him into his lap, pressing his own small smile into the skin.

“I think we should celebrate in the _fun_ way.” He volunteered and Sakura’s eyes landed on them hungrily.

“I kind of want to go yell from the windows but you’re right, we should have fabulous sex about it.” She conceded smoothly. Naruto couldn’t stop giggling every few seconds.

Naruto checked his phone and _choked_ in Sasuke’s lap.

Sasuke looked over his shoulder in curiosity.

“Twitter isn’t the only one! Instagram and some other big accounts have gotten in on this too. Oh! Oh my fucking god, Sakura, did I tell you about the smurf accounts?”

“No!” She leaned forward, delight written all over her face.

“The dumb motherfucker made a few alt accounts to try to get around the ban.” Sasuke elaborated. “Twitter shot it down hard.”

She snorted.

“Oh god I spat out my drink when I first heard. A literal spit-take. One of my discord voice chat buddies mentioned it casually and my head spun around three-hundred-sixty degrees, I swear.” Naruto buried his face into his hands, phone and all. “Ahhh, I really needed this news today!!! Everything was looking so dark and now I can’t stop smiling. It’s just _funny_. It’s funny, right?”

“It’s funny.” They reassured him. And then they kissed him, and well, after people’s clothes started flying off they forgot about politics entirely, except for how afterwards one of them would think about it and laugh out loud, or when they _did_ get around to the wine and cookies-- they didn’t, it turned out, have any champagne left after New Year’s-- but ultimately, it was just step one in a downward crumbling tower of bullshit, and seeing the writing on the wall had been enough.

The tower was going to come crashing down and they were going to celebrate the victory.

**Author's Note:**

> [Find me on tumblr](https://definitelynotaminion.tumblr.com/)  
> [Watch me flail on twitter](https://https://twitter.com/jimothydrake/)  
> [ Come chat on the discord!](https://discord.gg/QcwjuYpB) We are nominally in fucking PARTY MODE over this GOOD FUCKING NEWS!!!!!!!


End file.
